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Tuesday, August 17, 1999 Bitch at Lum

3:00 PM WHAT THE HELL, LET'S JUST CALL THIS LADYMOI WEEK. FREE TCHOTCHKES FOR *EVERYONE*!

There seems to be a religious debate going on over at Another Mad Tower's message base over the unholy charms of LadyMOI. The truly scary thing, though, is that LadyMOI is right there swinging virtual fists with the best of them. When someone challenged her innate feminine superiority, she replied with this:

But you aren't taking into account my super-powers!

Any good enchantress knows that looks are only part of it... Why, I compliment my exterior self with:

  • the power of being easily amused,
  • the power of no depth-perception which makes driving with me really fun,
  • the power of being indescriminately silly,

and last, but not least

  • the power of being able to drool on command (fun at -any- party)

As a package, you have to admit that it's not half bad. ;)

Of course the most IMPORTANT power she failed to include was her secret weapon,

  • the power of an attractive woman paying attention to geeks instead of ridiculing them

I mean, people are lining up RIGHT NOW to see who can hack into Citibank and erase the balance due on her Visa card the fastest. Do people do that for Julia Roberts? Do they do that for Britney Spears? Noooooo.

2:00 PM WHY AM I POSTING THIS NEWS STORY? ARE THE SMURFS NOT POSTAL ENOUGH ALREADY?

I was going through the web site cleaning up dead links and un-uploaded pages (hey, all the archived news links work now!) and noticed this interesting tidbit. Remember when I linked to SRC Kyra's home page as part of a story?

Check this: click this link: https://www.beyondirc.net/who/kyra.html

Now, cut and paste this into your browser's address line: https://www.beyondirc.net/who/kyra.html

How are they doing that? Well, whenever you follow a link on a web page, part of the HTTP header you send to the web server on that page tells it where it came from. Ate-up web guys like myself can then tell who is linking to us. It's pretty cool. In this case, they looked to see if someone followed a link to this page from lum.xrgaming.net and if they did, sent out that picture.

I love the Internet. Kind of like to know how I'm stealing bandwidth, though. I mean, I could REALLY USE more bandwidth.

1:30 PM WE ALSO FOUND OUT THE CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN IS REALLY RICKY MARTIN'S FATHER

Many of you who read our report from the desert this weekend were struck with curiosity over the identity of the mysterious "Gordon". (Many others accused me of making him up.) So, we found out who he is, really.

What most of you REALLY wanted was more LadyMOI, and we're working on doing an interview/feature article with her sometime next week. However, there will be no RealVideo footage involving string bikinis, so it won't be ALL that you requested.


Monday, August 16, 1999 Bitch at Lum

11:30 PM EQ GMS RACISTS!

I was sent this from Wyrtgorn of the wee people about the latest on the Tallon Zek racewar server. This is a good example of why they REALLY need to disable all combat near zone lines.

Here's a situation that happened last night. We, being gnomes/dwarves/halfings, generally OWN the elves 24/7. This isn't propaganda, it's just fact. Well occasionally we get the zone line wars, and this is a story from one of them.

Last night I was playing as my Dwarf, Wyrtgorn when while running to reienforce the Lfay -> Gfay border on the Lfay side I see about 30 Elves and a GM named Teeka the Patient. I cast my Divine Aura and bust through the lost of them and get into Lfay where I was greeted to about 20-30 gnomes, and me the only dwarf. We were slaughtering the elves as soon as they zoned, and outa no where Arandiel, a human, pops up. His name turns Green and we're like ok. He tells us we're camping their corpses. Now, I asked camly if he had seen the other force, and they were camping our corpses. He didn't reply and just told us not to attack the elves comming through! Of coruse we didn't listen and we started to slaughter them, meanwhile the GM was screaming, "DWARF STOP!" and I did.

This goes on for about 5 minutes, when he finally steps in and HEALS an elf named Sinfier. Now I'm not one to usually grip about someone, but this SAME elf runs behind our backs and summons his pet which starts to pick us off one by one. Taking it personal I run around and of course die to his pet and his spells. This has gone too far. I come back with my summoned hammer, asked the GM WTF was he doing? He allowed and elf to heal and now cause havoc amoung us. He didn't respond, the only words outa his mouth were, "This is uncontrolable, they never said anything like this would happen. If either side wants their bodies they'll have to surmount a force large enough to hold the othere off and let people get their corpses." Then he disappeared while the elves had grown to such numbers behind us we had to leave.

War is war, why would anyone let their enemy get their stuff to use on them again?

11:30 PM NO NECROMANCY FOR YOU!

Fear had these comments on OSI and the mysterious "Gordon";

I read your report from the desert, and that guy Gordon sounds a lot like the old Soup Nazi Vogel. Do you think there is a school for hard assed producers? I want to be like him! Was Gordon Jason Bell? He was supposed to be taking over the Producer spot. Oh and Lady MOI gets a two BIG thumbs up from the Vortex. Dang, If she was the Designer, we wouldn't give a crap if anything got done with the game. hehe Just teasing.

Well it sounds like OSI has found a way to delay anything for another 6 months, so I think what I want to focus on now is them to re-define the priorities. It sounds like Player Races are gone. They should just fess up and tell us Necromancy is a flippin pipe dream and at least get on with House Auctions, and a trade window that works. I would be happy at this point if they just fixed some stuff and let us have it fair. The trade window rip offs and the inability to trade animals on Siege is totally ridiculous! It seems to me that they would want fair trading especially on a shard that has no other way of income for the majority of players. Merchants should start talking about this and the tamers should be making a killing on protection and horses right now, but they can't because they get ripped and then the Warriors won't buy cause they always get ripped. I think it is VERY important that something be done about this ASAP, will eventually kill all trade.

1:00 PM AIR CONDITIONING - IT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING

Just got back from the Texas desert, and true to my word, I didn't take any pictures. Well, OK, actually I did. They're with the rest of my report on what happens when a whole bunch of UO people drive out in the desert and ask what happened to smiths, anyway.

Also, apparently, while I was passed out or something I went on Siege and lit up a toke or two while listening to Metallica. The UONN has the full story.

 


All original copyright © 1999 Lum the Mad, LLC. Investors are invited to watch for our IPO. Trademarked content on this site owned by its original trademark owners. Stuff I made up still is mine. What's yours is mine. What's mine is mine. In 1999. Hunh. WAR! What is it good for? Absolutely NUTHIN. (Say it again!)