Part 1: Who's Here,
Part 2: 911's A Joke On Your Server
Part 3: What Everquest Got Right, and What They Got Wrong
Part 4: Why Ultima Online Will Never Work, And Why You Should Play Anyway
Part 5: Conclusions
Macroing: Punishment and Crime
The Darwin Files - Lum
What the hell those dopey icons by
every article mean - Lum
Don't Suck As Badly As We Do
Mu's Beta Pages
Musashi's Cheesy Web
Old Man Murray
*starts with a newbie
in orc helm* This is the true story *blinks away to murderer in a black
dress with two daemons following him* of 40 strangers picked to live
in a jail cell *blinks away to an almost dead person lying on the ground*
to see what happens when people stop being polite *blinks away to two
players, one looking rather gruff and in full plate (sitting) and the
other in his lap in a kilt (and nothing else)* and start getting real.
The Real (?) World. *blinks away to an almost nude thief running from
someone's pet nightmare* Ultima Online.
And just in case you thought
smurfs could macro with impunity, we have this;
I have inside info that on
the Atlantic shard there is a Counselor by the name of Counselor Crom,
who was caught macroing, on the SP shard, rather then banning him, and
removing him from the Counselor program, they decided to treat him as
a dog, and make him wear a tag on his Counselor char that says "-Suspend"
he cant council for 2 weeks, but has to be in irc during his shift.
Shard Lead Counselor (SLC) decided to humiliate him, publicly, rather
then banning him... Treat a volunteer like a animal, rather then being
quiet about this, and let it slid just this once, or rather then letting
him go... This was SLC Damsel's decision as to what to do with him,
as far as punishment went...
Just thought you may want
to know that, being this is totally a case of a Powertripped Shard Lead
Counselor, using her powers, rather then doing what was stronly said
about Counselors, which was, they will be banned if caught, unattended
Well, the official explanation
came from SRC Terendil;
No SRC was involved other
than to stop the rogue counselor. The Counselor in question has had
his account permanently banned for this. It does not matter if he was
hacked or not as he is ultimately responsible for his account.
Catskills Shard extends its
apologies to any affected player.
And here's what some of you
came up with. By far the most popular explanation was variations on this:
They figured that everyone
macroed at one point or another so they just decided to punish everyone
for back crimes.
Other theories include:
Population control has been
introduced into UO. Maybe the GM showed up to kill them and remove their
chars from the server, thus creating a less lag free experience for
everyone as these people would probably quit.
These people all willed themselves
into jail. A few of them were thinking "Im bored" and then in a mind
over matter incident, the server transported everyone on screen to a
more interesting spot. One with walls on all sides.
It was a cruel experiment
to see how players act in twisted conditions. Stuck in a jail room with
40 other people all shouting and screaming? In RL, that would be torture.
I think they just wanted
to see how many corpses could decay in a single room.
It was some kind of exploit...
if you piled 12 mushrooms in each corner of a jail cell, a random castle
would be yours!
And my favorite explanation:
The smurfs were jealous of
all the attention you gave SRCs last week...
OF THE HELL SMURFS
Got this in the mail:
This is without a doubt the
single most incredible thing that has ever happened to me throughout
the breadth of my UO career. This morning, on the Catskills server,
it appeared as though the entire PC population of the Britain subserver
was teleported to jail. One moment, we were all enjoying server war
around Brit Cemetary. The next minute, I'm in jail with 40 other confused,
irate players. After a while, myself and three others were teleported
to a seperate room adjoining the one where all the other players were.
All spells were disabled, so we could not recall out. A very apologetic
Counselor Videre explained that he didn't know how we got here, and
furthermore couldn't teleport us out. After a long while, he told us
that our player names and character ID's were being written down for
further questioning, and GM Lint arrived. It would appear that some
SRC is going to get his balls nailed to the proverbial wall for doing
it, whether it was a sick joke or just an honest mistake remains to
be seen. Enclosed are pictures to help you get a better idea of the
total mayhem that ensued.
I'm sure there is a perfectly
reasonable explanation for teleporting 40 people to jail. And I'm dying
to hear it. In fact, why don't you,
the reader, help? See if you can come up with a logical explanation for
teleporting 40 people to jail. The winner of this contest gets, um, absolutely
Everquest is not having a good
First off, an entire guild
on Fennin Ro awoke to find themselves knocked down to level 1 by the GMs.
Since most were level 40+, they were
unamused. Rumor has it they had found an item dupe.
Then, they patched all the
servers, and for some reason it took most of the day. John Smedley's explanation
was that "it was a reallly big patch."
Then, when the servers came
up, some lucky tradesmen who planned ahead made
about 8,000 plat. Those who didn't plan ahead found that Verant had
"enhanced" pottery by making it completely
useless. This reduces, as we mentioned before, the number of usable
trade skills in the game to about, um, zero.
But that's OK, that's not the point of Everquest. The point of Everquest,
as we all know, is to camp
for the cool shit.
Then, some enterprising snooper
found out that one of the reasons the patch was so big was that the spell
"Ultra Death" was added. Here's the description, which can be
found by opening your spdata.eff file in a text editor:
Oh come on, you know that
there is no such thing as an ultra death spell in this game. Come on
- this is EQ - we balance things as well as we can. No tank-mages. No
uber class. Etc etc. Thanks for asking though. BTW - what are you doing
reading this file? - Geoffrey Z
does have his plane. He's also apparently the
reason Siege Perilous exists. Basically I'm in fear of no Fear.