BEEN WORKIN IN THE ORE MINES, WORKIN UP NORTH, WORKIN IN THE ORE MINES,
WHOOP WE GONNA REST NOW
Normally I don't hype my own
guild, the Temple of Mondain, but this time I think I can make an exception.
Follow this link to see a screenshot of the
first confirmed Grandmaster Blacksmith on Siege Perilous!
ON HIS WAY OUT, HE KICKED A DOG AND MADE FUN OF CANADIANS
Thunderlips, proud homeowner
on Siege, sends this:
Heres my OSI asshole of the
week, GM Hargrim (maybe I have the spelling wrong).
Let me sum up. On Siege,
I'm doing pretty well so I decided to buy rare items people have picked
up. One guy sold me a collection of 10-12 items for like 8k, so I thought
that was pretty cool. In his collection he had a Blue Metal Shield.
Looks like just a metal shield, but blue (well, duh...). It looked cool
though, but I wasn't sure if it was rare, bugged or dyed or something.
Anyhow, I had no idea if
this was rare, so I paged a GM. God that was that a mistake. First a
counselor shows up, and doesn't know so he brings a GM. In front of
the moonglow bank and GM Hargrim show up, and tells me shield is one
of a kind. I'm pretty stoked. He proceeds to interrogate me on where
I got it. I tell him in a chest in Despise (where the one dude found
it). He asks again, as if I'm lying. I say the same thing.
Now, the good part. He takes
the shield from me, destroys it, and hand me a normal metal shield!
I was just shocked. Everyone around me was "WTF!". He said, "Sorry,
boss told me to". Please! Like Runesaber gives a rats ass about a blue
shield! One guy said "Tell him to go fuck himself!". The GM then grabbed
that dude and they both disappeared. Its one thing reading about GM
shit on your page, but its a whole diffrent story to see it first hand.
I guess the moral of the story is, never ask for help. Period.
HERE'S A K00L CHILD REARING XPLOIT - IF YOU GIVE A BABY A BOTTLE OF MILK,
THEY USUALLY QUIT CRYING! B3 SUR3 T0 GIV3 M3 MAD CR3DZ F0R THIZ!
From the Dr. TwisTer NeTwork
we recieved this:
The Reason Dr. Twister's
site sucks right now is because he is swamped with his new baby. Give
him a break. On a lighter note he just added several new site administrators
including myself. So you will be seeng the site updated every day now.
Tolkien - Site Admin- Dr.
Here's a hint - it wasn't the
quantity of the site updates I was referring to.
Robert Downey Jr. is in prison
Ronald McDonald posted a new
flash movie that involves Runesabre's
violent and messy death.
My Swordsmanship on The Hard
Shard is up to about 15.6. I feel good about this.
Tried out Asheron's Call Beta
2.1 and gave Mushashi a hard time. It was awful pretty even if I couldn't
find any Matt Drudges (the newbie monsters are all named Drudges). And,
as I told Mu, "You know, if you jump real high and turn in mid jump,
you wave your arms in the air like you just don't care." Then the
My teacher knew I had the funk.
Popped onto Tallon Zek for
a couple minutes to see what was up in EQ land. I was a troll shadowknight,
and listened to everyone scream at the trolls to get their butts over
to Feerott since the Humans were invading. So I went to Feerott and listened
to everyone scream at the ogres to get their butts over to Innothule since
the Humans were invading. Then the server crashed.
Am I the only one who thinks
Dr. Twister's site really, really sucks now?
My performance review is today.
I'll either get a nice raise or get fired.
LOVE YOU ALL, BUT IF YOU SHOW UP AT MY HOUSE I'M GOING TO HAVE TO KILL
YOU. UNLESS YOU'RE FEMALE AND CUTE. THEN MY WIFE WILL HAVE TO KILL YOU.
And finally we have this. I'd
like to comment, but words just fail.
i just had a dream about
you... totally freaky
i can't belive i forgot it,
i was just thinking about it over at dinner. anyway this is wat i remember
It seems as though you were
having a party. The reason for the party is the strange part, its like
it changed halfway through the dream. first it was a meeting for some
of your UO friends, later it turned into a meeting of your highschool
friends or something like that. that was around the end of the dream
where it changed.
anyway suddenly your webpage
pop up, i can't remember what the contents were, generally it was something
about you making fun of some guy. later this guy appeared at the party.
scene change, top angled
view of your house, a 1 storey bungalow with a pool. flash, back to
that guy. he was joking around with some guys and you i think, i remember
suddenly, we're in a minimart
and the theme changed to the 2nd one. and i hear your voice speaking,
i think. it was going something like.... "what to do when meeting ppl
from highschool but can't remember their names" and suddenly alot of
First, you see Helen Hunt,
i almost woke up :)
"something something something pretty lady"
next you see alot of other ppl i have no idea where i got their faces
"something something soemthing big fat baldy"
"something something something sexy lady"
"something something something can't remember anymore" then i woke up.
oh yea, the whole thing was
in 1st person view, kinda like playing LumQuake without guns.
Gee. That website seems ...familiar,
(Note: In LumQuake your character
spends most of its time staring at a computer screen, which makes LumQuake
the first postmodern video game. Embrace the Dichotomy!)
MEAN ITS RACIST... I SAW IT ON A HIGHWAY CLEANUP SIGN AND THOUGHT IT SOUNDED
Delving further into the mailbag
we find this:
Well, my account got banned
on Saturday. After spending two days trying to find out why, I got this
cute little note in the mail saying I was banned for having a guildstone
on Catskills named "Ku Klux Klan". Now, this is my brothers shard, so
I asked him WTF he was doing. He told me he was just goofing around
with some friends. I asked him if he had any warnings about the stone,
and he told me yes. A GM came up to him and told him to change the name.
He told the GM he couldn't do it for a week, to due the nature of changing
stone names. The GM said OK, and left.
This all happened Friday,
mind you. So at 2:55 a.m. on Saturday, no more than 24 hours after the
GM had warned him and my bro had agreed to change it at his earliest
convenience, some idiot yanks the plug on my account.
Two questions: 1. Why didn't
the GM just delete the stone when it was clear my bro couldn't do anything
about it. 2. Who the hell taught OSI their communication skills? Ever
tried reasoning with UO support? Like talking to a fucking robot.
And, from the person who ACTUALLY
owned the account:
Well, my account got banned
a few days ago. Not because I macroed on SP, or used UOE, or called
Richard Garriot a faggot. It was banned because my son, who plays on
Catskills, had a guildstone with the name "Ku Klux Klan". I got the
letter today stating I was banned for being a racist.
Now, I take responsibility
for what happens on my account but come on. His guild dressed in tacky
orange clothes and stole from the masses (not scams, they used what's
left of the actual stealing skill). There were no logs of racist remarks,
no complaints, just a letter saying that at 2:55 a.m. on Friday my account
got toasted. Gotta love big brother.
But what really pisses me
off is what he told me after I brought it up with him (my son). He said
the GM had warned him to change the name on Wednesday, but due to the
one week timer on name changes he could not. The GM understood, and
told my son to change the name as soon as possible. Why the GM didn't
do it himself, I'll never know. The only thing I can figure from this
is my account got banned by some self righteous Smurf who then had the
GM put the stamp of approval on it.
Just tell everyone to watch
what they name their stones, it could be there accounts next.
OK. It's REALLY hard for me
to feel sympathy for anyone who names their guild "KKK". Even
the most mongoloid of idiots should be able to see that running into a
group of folks with "KKK" above their heads would be objectionable
to a whole bunch of folks, including myself. And anyone with even one
fourth of a clue knows that the quickest way to get your account banned
is for racism (well, being racist about orcs is OK I guess).
Should the account itself have
been banned? It would depend on what else was on the account I guess --
if that was the first offense, probably not. But why the GM didn't just
delete the guildstone right then and there and tell Smart Boy to go buy
a new one is beyond me. I'm pretty sure that was standing operating procedure
anyway (such as the week after Littleton when GMs had to go delete all
the immigrant geniuses who named their guilds Trenchcoat Mafia).
HOUSE... IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR MOONGLOW
Got this one in the mail:
OGD - 0
2 Lamers with Lockpicks - 1
TALES OF GLORY FROM THE HARD SHARD
Got this one in the mail:
Hi, I was one of the 'lackies'
your guildmaster spoke about in his piss and moan artical. Ill speak
on behalf of myself and nobody else because I dont know what Threx and
Wally (aka PHUCKCHOP boo changed his name) have to say. Here it is,
we didnt know it was a bug until the 'asshole pk' was taken to jail
because 400 people paged about him. After the GM sat with him in jail
for fourty minutes trying to figure out the bug (he didnt seem to understand
english) he deemed it wasnt a bug or somthing. I dont know the details
of the jailing only what I heard from the guy on the inside, Threx.
Meanwhile the GM released him and his paladins (now turned red) with
counts added. So we killed more...more,more and more. We werent in it
to get massive amounts of shovels or six iron ore, we were only messing
around. In addition, would he be bitching this bad if we all were red,
or is this a special bitch because only one of us turned red? I wouldnt
mind if the GM added 500 counts to my character, Etherwar. It wasnt
my purpose to aviod counts by using paladins to kill people, if I were
as 'strong' as a paladin I would have done it myself and welcomed the
counts. Tell your guildmaster to stop crying and roll with the punches.
There are seventy-eight other places to mine on the server mabey next
time after he gets killed once he will go to another place insted of
returning like a moron. Thats just my opinion but fooled once shame
on you, fooled twice shame on me. Anyway, take it easy and keep up the
good work, I like your page even though your affiliated with that mook
Speaking of stupid miners on
Siege Perilous, I've heard that a smith working out of Cove is up to GM
already. I find this hard to believe since we have been working our smith
(Mondain's Hand, out of Minoc) pretty much 24/7 and he's only 91.1, but
at any rate it's only a matter of time before Lots of Very Violent People
With Armor start showing up...
IT'S FULL OF BIG WORDS AND NUMBERS AND STUFF. I'LL JUST READ THIS WEEK'S
THE SLUGGER AGAIN.
A new article on economics
in MMRPGs and why you should care has been posted.
OF GLORY FROM THE HARD SHARD
our intrepid and oft-banned guildmaster, sends in this:
There's currently an exploit
on Siege Perilous where by you can kill another player (or dozens of
other players) and not get murder counts. A particularly effective group
of assholes exploited this bug on myself and a good other 20+ miners
all weekend. If one of them had not been an idiot and actually started
attacking people hand to hand they still would all be blue. (3 PK's
1 is red and oh gee.. over 40 dead).
Of course the standard OSI
policy of dealing with bugs was quickly put into action:
1st response: page a GM:
no response... contact our seekrit IRC peoples and whoa! the GM left
half an hour early and so the shard has no GM!
2nd response: SRC (name withheld)
shows up. hmm is that a bug? hmmm... (goes into SRC IRC) "PQ: paladins
are bing used to PK and the victims cannot report thei hirelings owners
is this a bug?" "Answer (Zug-notsohere): nope" Counselor reply: Sorry,
the players not being able to be reported for murdering you is not a
bug even though you cannot report. The players using this are just being
NEXT DAY AND 25 DEAD MINERS
LATER (the PK's are still blue):
3rd response GM BOBO: I have
to witness this take place
4th response GM BOBO: I have
talked to the players in question
(10 minutes later): 5th response
GM BOBO: I am talking to the players again now.
6th response GM BOBO: You
attacked them (I was blue, unarmed and not even in combat mode. never
targeted another player. 1 of the 5 of us that had died for the 10th
time went grey looting 670 ingots off of one of our own fallen. I PRESUME
this is how he was able to draw this conclusion from the mass slaughter)
7th response GM BOBO: This
call has been forwarded to a counselor
8th response GM BOBO: A counselor
will explain how this is not a bug.
Now, keep in mind these responses
were a progression of calls between several players over a periode of
about 2 hours of dying non-stop. They were not just placed to spam the
queue... people died and we paged again.
Some friendly person with
OSI contacts hops in OSI IRC and talks some sense to people who.. you
know.. actually listen.
It's OFFICIAL! It's a BUG!
Hey... now we are getting somewhere.
9th response: SRC shows up
at another group of players who are pissed off and paging. Tells them
"This isnt a bug..."
10th response: GM shows
up... "It's a bug.. we are aware of it and the players in question
are being talked to now... (the main guy who was doing this is standing
around still smack talking as his two lacky friends get teleported off
to moo moo land).
11th response: "The
problem is resolved and players caught doing this will have murder counts
2 hours later - All 3 exploiting
PK'rs in question return with another batch of paladins and slaughter
another dozen miners - who cant report.
The next day: All 3 exploiting
PK'rs in question, return again and slaughter another dozen players.
1 hour after that: all 3
exploiting PK'rs in question, return again and slaughter another dozen
1 hour after that: all 3
exploiting PK'rs in question, return again and slaughter another dozen
Nobody mines there anymore...
nobody bothers to page GMs
The exploit? Well, I know
it has been your policy not to post bugs... but this one is pretty rudimentary...
so never the less here is how it works... my hireling (paladin) slays
you and your newbieness, in 2 hits you die... I go grey and loot you...
you never get an option to report me...
Easily 50+ people were killed
on the weekend by a couple players who are still 2 blue and 1 red...
Welcome to a different shard...
where things are handled 'differently' where there is so much GM coverage
that EVERY macro'r will get their ass busted. Welcome to an even start
with no major bugs and anything caught will be dealt with accordingly...
OF MY DEMISE ARE ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL
No, I'm not dead. No, I'm not
going to go work for the Dr. TwisTer Network.
Yes, I'm swamped at work. Yes,
I do most of my updating from work because most of the time my job involves
being available at my desk in case a server go boom. Yes, the Broken Mirrors
series will be updated, along with a new article on virtual economics
and a couple of tales of woe from The Hard Shard (it's easier to type
than Siege Perilous).
Yes, Tallon Zek and Vallon
Zek are up (I'm waiting on Zallon Zek myself.) I'll create a gnome necro
or something there and report in.
Yes, a new MMRPG came out and
I checked it out too. Will report more shortly.
quit, and yes, for $1,000 the last time I checked, you too can be the
new Butt Naked Avenger.
Yes, this update sucked. I'll
have the actual content up later. Check back around 5:00P CST or so.